


Nothing else matters if you're not there.

by Byunbae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crazy Rich Asians Fusion, Angst, Bottom Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Dynamics, IM SOFT AF, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun & Seo Youngho | Johnny Are Best Friends, K-Pop - Freeform, M/M, Mention - Freeform, NCT 2018, NCT 2019, NCT Night Night, OT21 (NCT), POV Suh Youngho | Johnny, Smut, Soft Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Soft Seo Youngho | Johnny, Top Seo Youngho | Johnny, inspo, johnten, jung jaehyun - Freeform, kpop, mark lee - Freeform, nct - Freeform, pure fluff, starting with, we gonna get real angsty up in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2020-07-12 11:50:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Byunbae/pseuds/Byunbae
Summary: After one year of a happy relationship Ten thinks it's finally time for Johnny to meet his parents. He just forgot to mention that he is part of one of the richest families in Thailand.





	1. Part one: I didn't think it was that important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you @ratedjohnten_ on Twitter for the prompt!

  
Bare feet pitter-patter loudly across the linoleum, as if pacing will speed up the cook time on the convection oven. Bending over at the hips, Ten wiggles his butt in the air as he stares intently at the bubbling cheese though the small window.

“You know, watching it isn’t going to change anything.”

“But what if it burns? You’re not watching him!”

“I set a timer, trust me, this isn’t my first freezer brunt pizza.” Johnny makes his way through their small apartment into the kitchen, bee-lining for the fridge. Seemingly only needing to only take a few steps with his long legs to make it across the tiny floor plan.

One swift pat on the butt and Ten scurries away from his pizza guard post and back to their over sized comfortably broken in couch. But not without several stomps and tiny huffs sharply exhaling from his tiny nostrils.

“Can you grab me a soda too?” Ten yells as he plops himself onto a cushion, jumping and folding his feet underneath him.

With two cans in his hands and his eyes hidden behind his smile that stretches across his entire face. “Of course, spoiled.” He teases softly.

Not once does Ten take his eyes off of him as he sets the two cold cans on the coffee table. He can’t stop admiring the way his long hair falls over his eyes and sticks up a little in the back from lack of brushing and hours of laying on the couch together. Or the way he looks in nothing but his purple boxer shorts and a black t-shirt. Clinging tightly to his torso, but on Ten, he could hide his arms and tuck both his knees inside the fabric.

“You know, you should wear clothes around the house” He jokes as he lifts the knitted blanket, offering a spot for Johnny to warm up next to him. “You know Mark doesn’t know how to knock when he shows up unannounced.”

“Well, then it looks like he’s going to have the pleasure of seeing all this” Johnny laughs as he exaggerates his words and gestures a wave across his body.

“You’re such a weirdo!”

“And you love it! Don’t even try to fight it!” Johnny’s voice raises a few octaves as his aegyo comes out. He almost never acts so cutely in front of anyone- but he’s such a sucker for the smaller boy.

With nothing more than a tiny hum, the other boy snuggles closely against his body.

No need for the slightest aversion- Johnny doesn’t argue as Ten steals the remote. Holding the plastic device hostage in his two hands and after nearing half of an hour of clicking though titles, he picks out some sappy rom-com. Of course he has zero interest in watching it, but it makes Ten happy, so… boring romantic comedy it is.

Fighting every single urge to sit on his phone for some sort of entertainment and ignore the movie was torturous. Reading Wikipedia or Soompi, or literally anything would be more enjoyable than watching this unbearable and overly predictable plot line. Johnny strains himself, trying so very hard to enjoy the movie. But all the boredom fades away as soon as he looked over to his right and saw Ten’s glossy wide eyes and unbelievably enthralled he is over the mushy script; His happiness was enough to satisfy Johnny.

For now.

Grabbing the boy by his soft jaw and cupping his cheeks in his palms, he turned his face to him. “You’re so much more interesting than this movie. I’d rather watch you, yeah?” Johnny whispers before planting a small kiss on his lips.

A small breathy sigh escapes Ten’s mouth as he sinks into the other. “Can I ask you something?” His gaze not looking into his eyes, but rather set intently on Johnny’s downward relaxed pout. “I don’t know how to ask this, I’m sorry I didn’t come to you earlier.”

Johnny kisses him once more though a soft muffled ‘mmm’ before sitting back, tentatively.

“Will you come with me to Thailand?” His big doe eyes lift to meet with a soft quizzical stare.

“What? This is sudden.” The pure confusion in Johnny’s voice is undeniable.

“Please come meet my family. We have been together for a year and I want you to come with me.”

“What? I thought you left them? Why are you going back?” Johnny bites his tongue as the questions fight to pour from his mouth. It has always just been the two of them. They never involved each others families. Not that they purposely did so, but because Johnny’s parents lived in The States and Ten’s family, well, Johnny knew nothing of them other than they live in Thailand.

“It’s my sisters birthday and she really wants me to be there. And I wouldn't go anywhere without you, please? It will be fun!” His high pitch tone actually makes traveling a few thousand miles sound _exciting._

“I couldn’t ever say no to you,” Johnny’s soft voice whispers with a small grin. Leaping faster than a rabbit, Ten jumps across the couch and clobbering Johnny’s body in the process.

-

Johnny pushes his padded headphones off of his ears, allowing them around his neck. It’s late and his large Americano is the only thing keeping him mildly functioning. Regardless of the airing hours, Johnny loves the late night radio show. He loves his guest speakers and he loves being a DJ, he never wants this gig to end. And one day when it does, it will be heartfelt as he flicks off that switch for the last time.

Leaning back in his rolling chair, Johnny cocks one leg so it is bent over the other knee as he turns to face his co-host “Hey, so… Ten invited me to go back to Thailand with him. So I am going to be off next week, you okay with that?”

Jaehyun’s prominent dimples make their common appearance along with a interesting reaction. His face a contortion of surprise and confusion. “Wow, man yeah, of course! I mean- that’s a big deal, with who is family is and all. Are you ready for this?”

“What do you mean? Were going for his sister’s birthday.” Its hard to tell who is more confused, Johnny or Jaehyun. But, Johnny may just have him beat.

“He didn’t tell you? They’re kind of a big deal” He quietly says, like it’s a secret being shared between the two of them.

“What the hell you talking about?” Yep, Johnny is definitely more confused than the other.

“His family is kind of one of the richest families in Thailand… you know Ten is the heir to his father’s company, right?”

“What? Are you kidding me?” Johnny blinks in disbelief and he’s almost entire sure his ears are deceiving him. He knew he didn’t know anything about his family, but he never expected this. An heir? There’s no way.

“This is the first time you’re hearing this?” Jaehyun is more concerned for the other, who looks like he lost his mind, eyes unfocused on the wall and jaw almost unhinged. Jaehyun waves his hand in front of his face, checking to see is he’s still conscious in there. “Dude, you alive?”

“Are you totally sure we’re talking about the same boy?” Johnny furrows his brow in pure disbelief in direction of his co-host. “My Chittaphon? There’s no way, I have seen that boy eat rice off of his bare belly. There’s no way he is this Mr. Someday-to-be-fancy-pants.”

Jaehyun laughs and throws his palms up, gesturing a sign of ‘I had nothing to do with this’ as he laughs though a head shake. Readjusting his beanie and putting his headphones back over his ears, he points with his index finger to the timer, nearing on air again.

The sun has been sleeping for hours behind the horizon by time Johnny saunters and drags himself though the unlocked front door. He always tells Ten to lock the door at night, but he never listens. He claims he likes to be ‘welcoming’ because you never know when their friends might show up and somehow, they have become the unspoken and unwanted hangout house. Johnny laughs to himself in a delirious state. If it were not for those two Americano’s in the radio booth, Jaehyun may have had to drag his sleep deprived body home for him.

Maybe he’s dreaming, maybe he’s hallucinating, but his heart jumps at the sight of Ten sitting on the couch as he walks though the threshold. Seeing the boy in nothing but his own t-shirt, hanging off his small frame and reaching the top of his thighs, he could look at him all night and not get enough of the sight before him.

Wrapping his arms around Johnny’s neck he presses into him, thin fabric being the only space between the two- he is so excited to see him “John-ah, I’ve been waiting for you! I need your help with something-" Ten’s expressions fall when he sees johnny’s drained expression. “Whats up?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Running his palms up and down Johnny’s forearms as he cocks his head. “About what?”

“About your family, Ten. Why didn’t you ever bother to tell me that you're stupid rich? I think that’s a very important detail to leave out for the last year!”

“I.. I’m sorry” His voice squeaks a stutter “I didn’t think it was important.”

“How the hell is it not important Ten? Please tell me, because I would really like to know.” Johnny doesn’t mean to raise his tone, he always maintains his temper, always. But his eyes are a bit heavy with sleep and he can feel his heartbeat in his burning ears.

How can Ten be so nonchalant about this?

“I am not rich, Johnny. I left all of that behind when I left Thailand. My family has everything, I don’t have anything- because I don’t want any of it” His incredibly flat tone wrenches at Johnny’s heart.

“Why not? I thought you came here for college? I always just assumed that you came here to study, that you had normal parents, a normal boring life. But why, what happened? What is heir stuff Jaehyun was telling me about? ” Johnny quickly sputters out enough questions with expectations of explaining all in one answer.

Directing in the direction of the table behind them, Ten pushed Johnny into a seat before taking the one across from him as he sucks in a large breath of air. “I did come to Seoul for my studies and when I left, I left everything behind because they didn’t like the way I lived my life. I wont change who I am for them or anyone and Johnny, none of those superficial things matter to me.”

Ten stopped for a moment, looking down, he gathers himself “My parents are normal, my life was as normal as it could get for someone that lived like we did. My kind of normal I guess…my father wanted me to take over his company, as his only son, I was supposed to be the good boy who followed in his footsteps… not a boy who likes other boys. My patents fought me for years, like there was something wrong with me. I even started to doubt myself, maybe I was broken. Something had to be wrong with me, right? They even went as far as forcing me to meet the daughter of a business associate. They said she was ‘nice’ and that I should just ‘give her a try’. Don’t get me wrong, she was very kind, but when I showed no interest, it was a unbelievably huge argument. My father finally gave me the ultimatum, the company or the way I choose to live my life…. you know which one I chose”

“Oh, babe, why didn’t you ever tell me?” Johnny is washed over with a wave, he sympathizes and feels for him. Reaching across the small distance between the two he gently tugs on the hem of Ten’s oversized shirt. Gesturing for the boy to move to his lap.

“I don’t know, its something I like to not think about much, it kind of hurts.” The smaller whispers as he happily folds his legs against his chest, fitting his entire body on top of the other’s thighs.

“So why now?”

“It’s my sister’s birthday and she misses me, as I do her. Plus, my mother is beginning to come around- she misses me too and she said she would like to meet you. You’re so special to me and I don’t want to keep you a secret. But, most of all, seeing my father is going to be difficult and I don’t want to do this alone. I need you there with me.” Ten reaches for his hand. Holding it in his own, his fingers much smaller and thinner and they intertwine perfectly together.

“Ten, you know I am always here for everything and I guess that means, apparently, to go meet your parents that… already have a predisposition to dislike me.” Johnny chuckles “But I love you and I guess were going to Thailand, so when do we leave?”

Lifting the smaller by the back of his thighs, he’s light enough that Johnny effortlessly makes his way though the dimly lit apartment to their small bedroom. Ten kicks his feet in the air in excitement as he buries his smile into the crook of Johnny’s neck. He’s ecstatic, he’s relieved, and he can’t wait to go home for the first time in a year in a half.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pt. two coming soon!


	2. Part two: Stay with me.

  
Sure, Johnny has flown on airplanes numerous times. He’s sat squished in between people, with a child kicking his seat from behind and a crying infant three rows up. He’s used to having to check a bag and hoping it arrives with him. Every time he flies home to visit, it’s a regular experience.

But flying with Ten was a whole other worldly experience. Having extra leg room doesn’t even begin to describe the first class section of the plane. Yes, of course he gladly accepts the reclining functions. And no, you didn’t have to ask twice if he wants a flute of champagne.

If that wasn’t enough to completely send Johnny off the track; lets not even begin to talk about the car that picked them up from the airport.

He is beginning to think he severely underestimated Ten, who doesn’t even bat an eye at high end manor of everything surrounding them. Completely unfazed as they climb into the back of a black Mercedes Benz S class. He can’t stop staring at the other: _this is who he is. This is his life._

Johnny can’t tell if the ride was extremely short or if he was in a daze the whole time that he caused him to teleport to his current location. Nerves creep up his throat as he steps out of the car and stares at the gorgeous white mansion before him. **This is it.**

A beautiful tiny woman with long loosely curled hair greets them at the double doors as they make their way up the several white stairs. She looks just like Ten, but shes much more feminine and elegant. Her youthful physique conceals her age, but her piercing eyes tell you she’s a woman in a powerful position.

With open arms she welcomes them. “Oh, Chittaphon, its been too long!” She grabs for Ten and pulls him in tight before softening her gaze in Johnny’s direction “This must be John?”

Johnny’s eyes pop open a little, unprepared for his first impression and politely bows. “ Hello, thank for you having me in your home.”

She's so kind, so gentle, and so welcoming. “Oh honey, you must be exhausted from traveling all this way. It is wonderful to meet you.” She says sweetly as she turns her attention back to Ten “Chittaphon, please, come inside- Halmeoni will show you to your rooms. Please, get comfortable and come down for tea in a bit, will you?”

Dragging a small black bag, Johnny follows a few steps behind a kind elderly woman and Ten down foreign hallways. Professionally decorated in beautiful paintings and artwork that most likely costs more than he will make in several years. Boy he feels out of place here. If he wasn’t closely following their trail, he would get himself lost in a matter of seconds.

“You know, I raised Little Chita since he was just a boy. I remember when he would run these halls in nothing but his underwear. Such a wild little thing he was.” She chuckles as she smiles at the memories.

Ten lets out a loud squeak “Oh! Please, Stop!”

“You know, he’s cute,” Her elderly rasp whispers in Ten's direction followed by a small elbow nudge. “Good catch, my boy.”

Johnny's eyes nearly bulge from his sockets at the comment. Glancing around, he’s not entirely sure if he heard her correctly. But at this point, he’s so out of place, he doesn’t want to ask.

“You will be staying in your old room, Chita. It’s just as you left it, though I did pick it up a bit. And Johnny, you’ll be in the guest suite here.” She gestures to a room across the hall.

“He can’t stay with me?” Ten instantly protests.

Johnny opens his mouth to kindly reason with him but before he’s able to say a word the small woman cuts him off. “Honey, you know your father, I think separate rooms will have to make due,” She leans in. “And if you sneak over in the middle of the night, I won’t say a word.”

Ten giggles to himself as he winks and enters his room with a small jump in his step.

-

No one prepared Johnny for what was to come next, no one prepared him for the level of class he was going to have go portray and absolutely no one warned him that meeting his boyfriend’s father was going to be one the most terrifying experiences of his entire life.

Ten with out a doubt takes after his mother, in every way possible. His father’s facial features are small in comparison to his puffy cheeks and stout body, tightly hidden inside a designer suit. He looks like a mob boss and it shakes Johnny, _he never did ask what his father did._ Shaking the shorter man’s strong hand, his grip is so strong as his clammy hand over squeezes. His rather small eyes carry a stare that is so intense, Johnny can not look him in the eyes for too long before wanting to run away.

Perhaps he could slide underneath the pristine white table cloth and scurry off to somewhere safe.

Johnny feels a hand rubbing up his thigh, the touch soft and gentle underneath the table- out of sight. Bringing a smile to his face before turning his head towards the younger boy sitting next to him.

“Babe, relax.” Ten whispers against his shoulder before sitting up properly in his chair.

His father clears his throat as two young woman in uniform bring out several small cups. Filled with a transparent golden liquid. A very soft aroma raises from each cup with the steam. Johnny tries to concentrate on his tea, it’s calming and inviting. Unlike the man sitting at the head of the table.

“So, John. Have you been to Thailand before?” His rusty voice asks.

“No, sir. This is my first time traveling anywhere other than between The States and Korea.”

“The States?”

“Yes, it’s where I grew up.”

“And are you in school still? What do you do for a career?”

“Yes, I am studying photography.” His confidence is thinner than ice.

A deep “Mmm” sputters from his throat as his eye brow raises in disapproval.

Trying to carry on, though the ice has cracked. “And I have a radio show at night that I co-host.”

There’s no response and Johnny doesn’t need any other queues to keep his mouth shut. First impressions are everything and Johnny is sure that even if he was studying bioengineering, he would _still_ despise him. It didn't matter what he did, the man has a preset to dislike anyone in contact with Ten.

Silence fills the room and the man at the head of the table looks as if he is contemplating something. His face a soft shade of red and a thin tiny of perspiration along his hairline shines under the overhead lighting. Ten’s mother tries to redirect the flow to one of a more positive nature. Regardless of what she is asking, the tone in her voice is soothing. It’s very easy to answer to her as she asks lightly about their trip and heads into details of the party.

Seeing Ten absolutely content makes all of this much easier to absorb. He looks happy, relaxed and at ease. His eyes shining and his elbow propped on the table with his chin in palm as he carries on his effortless conversation. Johnny's mood everso slightly lifts as he feeds off of the radiating energy.

The aura in the large room turned soft, it would be a beautiful shade of white surrounding them. Fogging over and just as fast as a metaphorical rolling storm, they can all feel the tension as the larger man at the head of the table shakes his head with a huff and pulls out his phone. Without looking up as he slowly sets the device on top of the table next to his empty plate, he says in a low and monotone “I don’t know your intentions, but my boy will not associate with anyone who is only interested in his money- if that’s what your plan is. And as a matter of fact, my Chittaphon shouldn’t be involved with people that try to tear him away from who he really is.” He looks sharply at his son “I knew I shouldn’t have let you go off to that foreign art school. Nothing good there.”

“Okay, that’s quite enough.” Ten’s mother interrupts quickly. She pushes her hair behind one shoulder as he gently sets a palm down on the table nearing her husband in a low signal to halt. “I think the boys need rest, they have had a long trip. Now, go boys.” She nods in the direction of the doorway.

Looking like a giant puppy, Johnny gets up and follows Ten on his heels. Ten reaches back to grab his hand, more so latching onto his wrist and leading the taller out of the room quickly. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I expected from him, but that is probably what I should have anticipated.”

“I’m still breathing- kind of, so we got that going for us.”

“Please don’t worry your pretty head, he’s none of my worries. Plus, my mother likes you.”

Johnny isn’t sure how they made their way back to their quiet wing of the house. He was too busy staring at the fingers laced with his to really notice much else.

“Relax and don’t worry, okay? Tomorrow will be fun!” Pushing up onto his tip toes and placing his hands on Johnny shoulders for support before planting a small peck on his check he whispers “Don’t lock your door tonight, got it?”  
  
  
  
  


Tousled wet strands of hair stick against Johnny’s forehead. Small little beads of water missed by the plush soft towel airily drip from his hairline. The small lamp on the bed side table is casts a small shadow onto the wall of Johnny’s shirtless silhouette as he moves about the room. On the left side of the bed, Johnny pulls back the embroidered comforter and slides himself into the sheets. The Egyptian cotton feels like a cloud against his bare skin.

Retrieving his phone from the foot off the bed where he tossed it before taking a shower, the phone instantly unlocks once he holds it in front of his face. Opening his favorite social media app, he scrolls mindlessly though his feed. Some random photos of Yuta and Sicheng together , his old friend Sehun and his little dog Vivi, nothing in particular that stands out. Yet, each post gets a double tap heart.

A tiny tap on the door breaks the complete silence in the room aside from Johnny steady breathing. Lifting his gaze his eyes are met with that familiar smile. Quietly sliding into the room and latching the door behind him, Ten stands at the foot of the bed for a moment. Staring at the boy, Johnny is taken back by the lack of clothing he has on. Even though it is _his_ house- he should be comfortable. But not half naked and sneaking into his room.

Keeping his soft stare fixed on Johnny, Ten cat like crawls onto the foot of the bed until he’s on top of the other. Straddling his thighs he looks down with an enormous smile “Very good, you didn’t lock your door.”

“What are you doing here, babe?” Johnny whispers “And only wearing my t-shirt?” He tugs on the fabric.

“What, do you not like my pjs? Its my house, technically I can wear what ever I want!” Ten’s smile fades slightly as he keeps his eyes fixed on Johnny’s downward pout.

A small sigh escapes though his lips before a tiny smile presses onto them. “I love you more without your pjs, you know?” Gently with a hand on the back of his neck he pulls Ten in as he whispers against the other.

Fluttering his eyes shut, Ten’s long eyelashes tickle their cheeks. Soft lips glide against each other, separated by quick breaths and small smiles in between. Lifting the begging fabric, Johnny runs his fingertips along the other’s bare back. Gently ghosting along the skin all the way down to the base of his spine that delicately protrudes.

Pulling back from his pink kissed lips, Ten stares down at him for a moment. “You’re really gentle tonight, you alright Sweets?”

“Yeah… Well, no.” Johnny shifts underneath the other. He’s quiet for a moment. Feeling slightly guilty that his mind is preoccupied. “Honestly, your father scares the shit out of me.”

“Oh, he’s not that bad.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Okay, yeah. He’s pretty bad. I guess I’ve learned to just ignore it. But- I’m happy and that’s all that matters. So don’t worry, okay? ”

“I’m trying to ignore it. But the thought of him, he already hates me and with his son pretty much naked on top of me. He’d kill me. Ten, he’d kill me!” Johnny jokes though the most nervous laugh. He’s not fooling either of them.

Lowering his weight until he is completely resting on the boy under him, Ten softly lays his head against Johnny’s chest. He’s silent for a few seconds as he listens to his elevated heart beat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about how you were feeling about all this. I’m being a little selfish.”

“No, you deserve to be. I’ll be okay, honestly- just please enjoy yourself while you’re here” Johnny’s breath steadies. “Thank you for inviting me.”

Tracing small invisible circles along his chest, Ten smiles against his skin “I wouldn’t want it any other way. I don’t think you know how special you are to me. You’re the one I want to show off.”

Planting a small peck on top of his hair he speaks into the strands, never raising his voice higher than a whisper. “I would love to take you home someday to meet my parents. They would love you.”

Lifting his head and propping himself onto one elbow, Ten looks at the other. His gaze focused as his tired eyes study the boy next to him. The lamp on the night table casts a soft shadow across his face, sharpening his soft features.

“Stay here, please?” Johnny asks as he twists the small knob on the lamp. At the sound of the click the entire room fills with darkness. Hands blindly running along the sheets in search for the other boy next to him. Wrapping his arms around his body, he pulls him in close. Throwing one leg over Johnny’s thighs and shifting around restlessly until Ten finds his comfortable spot, the other is forced to patiently wait on the fidgeting human.

“Have your parents ever met anyone else before?” Ten asks openly into the darkness.

“Not exactly, they have met friends and the occasional fling I would have. But I never met anyone I was serious about, someone that’s worth a proper introduction, you know? You’re parents have never met anyone before, have they?”

Even in the dark, Johnny knows Ten’s expressions so well that he knows he’s chewing on his bottom lip as he hesitates. “Not anyone since they met Taeyong, but that was completely unintentional. And after that, no one was allowed over.”

“Please, elaborate for me a little, yeah?”

“John-ah, no! You have no idea how horrified I was.” Squealing a little as he buries his face into the sheets.

Pinching at his side, Ten quickly surrenders and frees himself from his blanket hideaway “Okay, okay, let’s just say. My mother didn’t know my sexuality until she saw his ass one day when she walked into my room without knocking.”

“Wow, okay. That’s embarrassing.”

“You literally have no clue and ever since then, they don’t come down to thing wing of the house when I’m here. Sad, isn’t it?”

Though small breathy giggles that perfectly echo the dark space surrounding them their fingers find one another perfectly. Lacing together they lay silently. The subdued sounds of their breathing gently fills the air allowing their minds to settle. Johnny’s thumb rubs back and forth along Ten’s index finger in a comforting reassurance.

“Will you spend every night like this? Next to me?.” His voice soft, but the words clearly find their way past his lips.

A soft hum radiates off of Ten as his sleep deprived voice mumbles. “Are you asking what I think?”

“Not officially, but when the time is right- one day.”

“Then in that case, someday- yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a living mochi...  
> But I can't wait for a little angst- can you?
> 
> Feedback below is always greatly appreciated!


	3. Part three: Black sheep.

  
Where did that little shit get away to?

When Johnny told Ten he would catch up with him in a minute, it was one of the worst decisions he ever made. But the company of other sitting restlessly on his bed while Johnny tried to finish getting ready was honestly, more distracting than it was enjoyable.

Brushing his hands over his black blazer to give a final pat to his attire, Johnny quickly sets off down the hallway. Somehow trying to manage to make his way down to the party. He has walked down the same hallway a few times now but trying to remember exactly which way is proving to be a little more than a small challenge. Every time they walked though the house he should have been taking note, not with his gaze set low on Ten.

A sharp piercing gruff sound echoes though the hall, skyrocketing Johnny’s anxiety as his eyes search for the source of the sound. Down a few feet to the right Johnny spots him, standing straight in the door frame. His tiny eyes dead set on Johnny.

“Boy, come here.” His voice forceful, there’s no option in answering- not that Johnny could possibly formulate any sort of response. Automatically, his feet carry him to his right, whether he wants them to or not.

“Come into my office.”

Johnny’s palms are sweating by the time he steps foot into the small darkened room. The older man closes the door behind him, allowing privacy between the two. Which is the exact polar opposite of what Johnny wants right now because he knows if Ten came looking for him, he wouldn’t think to look in here. Would he? Johnny can only hope for someone to save him.

“Sit.”

On command Johnny quickly sits himself in the small green arm chair placed in front of a large wooden oak desk. Rubbing his hands on his knees, he’s pretty sure he forgot how to breathe. Johnny thinks that if he passes out right now, it might actually be a brighter alternative to his current situation.

“You look like a decent boy, I’m sure you have a good head on your shoulders.” The man says clearly as he leans against the desk, uncomfortably close to Johnny.

Johnny stutters though his words “Th.. Thank you, Si-”

Quickly raising his right palm, cutting him off mid sentence “But, you are not cut out for my son. He doesn’t know what he wants just yet, and soon enough he’s going to realize what’s best for him.”

The static silence lingers for a moment as his last words ring inside Johnny’s mind. Mustering everything inside of him, he sits up a little in his chair, masking his fear with the small amount of confidence he can get a grip onto. “With all due respect Sir, I don’t think you know him that well.”

“You don’t think I know my own son?” He barks painfully loud at Johnny as he takes a few steps towards him. Hovering over him, Johnny isn’t sure if he should scream and run or quietly submit to the corpulent man. So much for hiding behind a mask. “Chittaphon is to stay here in Thailand. His duty is here and not prancing around in Seoul.”

He can’t breathe, his vocal chords have been torn away and Johnny can’t find any saliva to aid his constricted throat. Staring dumbfounded at the other, his lips pop open and his fingers clench onto the green chair. Nails digging into the seams of the arm rests.

“Frankly, I don’t even want you going down to the party. There’s no point in introducing yourself to people that are never going to see you again.” Intimidating doesn’t even begin to touch his description. Slowly he reaches his hand into his breast pocket and pulls out a small white rectangle piece of paper “Here’s a ticket back, the plane leaves late tonight. **One** ticket and you’re not to say a word of this to Chittaphon, understood? You need to let him see for himself who he is.”

Taking the ticket and holding it in his lap, Johnny’s eyes drop downward, staring at the tiny black lettering. The work ‘Incheon’ stands out alone. Leaving without Ten, can he even call it home? Johnny’s stomach churns at the thought.

After a moment the man steps back a a few feet and leans against the desk once more. “If you must go to the party for a bit, so be it. But you are only his friend. Do you hear me? You’re not to go anywhere too close to him. I do not want anyone getting the wrong idea.”

-

Standing at the top of the stairs, he gathers his breath. Steadies himself on his two feet. Knees wobbling as he descends the wide staircase, each step gives way to worry that his legs are going to give on him.

Johnny didn’t even think that it was possible for that many people could fit in the downstairs area of the house, but if he has learned anything by now- it’s to not underestimate a single thing is put in front of him. Walking less than gracefully into a dark sea of tuxedos, each one pressed and near immaculate. But the most stunning part is the splashes of color contrasting in between the men. Women in long dresses that flowed along the wooden floor make the room look alive.

Johnny nervously searches for one person and one person only. He has his height to thank for allowing him to easily scan the crowd. Looking for a small head of brown hair, neatly styled back.

Across the large dim lit room he finds him, standing with hand propped on his hip and a tall glass of a pale yellow bubbles in the other. He’s standing with a gorgeous girl. Assuming it’s his sister as the resemblance is undeniable. Though the boy that claims to own his heart looks completely different. He holds himself in a manor that is the literal opposite of the boy that lives in Seoul.

A sadness wrenches inside his chest. Maybe his father is right: maybe he does belong here. As much as he wanted it to be a lie the proof is right her in front of him.

He cant stop thinking that maybe he should take advantage of that place ticket. Not because he wants to, but because it is probably for the best. Isn’t it?

The moment Ten’s gaze find one another, there’s a igniting spark that zaps though Johnny when he sees how brightly Ten lights up. So animated as his eyes actually sparkle under the crystal chandeliers. Maybe Johnny is working himself up over nothing.

Standing next to Ten feels incredibly comfortable, like he’s was made to be beside him. Shoulders back and hands stuffed inside his pockets, Johnny uses all his power to not touch him. He wants nothing more to grab onto the smaller, tell him everything, press against him and never let him out of his sight again. Instead, he constantly searches the room, looking for those small beady eyes that he knows are watching his every single move. With the knowledge of that information is enough to keep at least six inches between them.

His younger sister is the main attraction for this beautiful party and she deserves it. She is one of the kindest people to walk this earth. She’s young but the intelligence she posses is beyond anyone he has ever met. She’s beautiful enough to match her gorgeous personality. Her soft brown eyes match her long near black hair that frames her face perfectly. Everything about her is petite and naturally so genuine.

She has only been one person that Johnny has met thus far that doesn’t have a distaste to him, whatsoever. “You’re really sweet, Johnny. I’m glad my Chita is happy. Even if that means he has to be thousands of miles from home.”

“I’m lucky to have him. And to be honest, he’s so lucky to have a sister like you- you’re the first person that hasn’t tried to trick him into staying.” Johnny flashes a rather small smirk at Ten as he speaks in a low voice, securing that no one else can hear their conversation.

Her voice flows in soprano, soft as she chuckles lightly. “The crown is much lighter to those who see it than to those who have to wear it, don’t you agree?”

Johnny’s lips curl slightly as he looks at the boy to his right, silent the whole time, his eyes admiring the interaction between the two. Keeping his distance from the other is a lot harder than he thought possible. Every cell in his body is screaming for contact, almost as loud as the voice in his head screams a constant reminder to him of everything that happened precisely forty-five minutes ago.

Not being able to be as close as he desires, he decides to wait until he can get that boy alone. Only then will he shower him the affection he is so rightly entitled to.

So for now, to satisfy him- he snakes his arm low around his waist, pulling him close to his side.

Ten reaches out his small hands, grabbing three full champagne flutes from the tall waiter as he passes by. The three stand together with arms out stretched. “Happy birthday, my little sister. I love you more than anything. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have had the strength to make my dreams a reality.”

-

Champagne has a way of bubbling its way into Ten’s brain. Throwing everything out of whack and so far out the window, that he usually has to pay an apology or two the next day. Which is the sole reason Ten doesn’t drink often. But this evening is a call for celebration.

Johnny doesn’t pay any mind as he keeps his arm tightly around the other. Knowing if he lets go, he just might topple over on his tiny intoxicated legs.

He can control the smaller boy, for a lack of better words. And Johnny knows that trying to keep the other in a reasonable decibel isn’t something that going to happen. So when his words begin to spill and his filter diminishes, it’s going to be a ride with no brakes.

Ten leans his body weight against Johnny, laughing loudly and drawing in attention. Numerous faces that Johnny can’t recall for more than a few minutes come to greet the three of them. A mix of birthday wishes in one direction, followed by ‘welcome home’ and ‘we’re glad you’re back.’ in the other. By the tone in their voices, it sounds like they all know something Ten doesn’t know just yet.

Its almost surprising how many people pass by Johnny, as if he doesn’t even exist. The few that do acknowledge him don’t say more than a few forced kind words. Johnny is used to people not accepting his preferences, but he is getting a feeling that he’s surrounded by people that dislike him for more reasons than homophobia.

A soft hand squeezes Johnny’s wrist as Ten’s sister leans in “Hey, don’t worry about any of them. Please, it’s my party and I am more than thrilled you’re here!”

“Thank you, really. The more I figure out how to present myself, the easier all this gets… Though I am completely awkward and probably a total vibe killer. I honestly don’t know how the two of you haven’t abandoned me and left me for the wolves.” Johnny freely laughs through a breathy exhale.

“He’s the best, Ten!” She claps her hands together. “Please keep him around!” Her voice so light and soft.

“Don’t you worry! I plan on it, and when we get back to Seoul, he’s stuck with me.” Ten clears his throat. “Because we’re going to get married!”

This is one of those moments that Johnny takes back everything he said about the impossibility to irk him. Or that Ten can’t ever do wrong.

The exact moment, his stomach dropped. Quite possibly slamming into the floor with a thud.

It is impossible to _not_ make a scene when dozens of eyes dart their way. Everything suspends for a few seconds before the entire room erupts in censure tainted applause.

Something about being in the spotlight right now causes something to swell inside Johnny. Like a boiling pot over flowing with a horrible mixture of anger and embarrassment, topped with a little regret. His entire body catches fire as his face burns, a small sweat shines along his hairline. All the air is expelled from his lungs as the air in the room becoming stagnant. He can’t breathe, no matter how much he tries, he's struggling to keep from passing out.

Though all of the people surrounding them, staring at them. There’s one person Johnny’s frantic expression finds immediately. Small eyes glaring from a tiny red face. Johnny’s pretty sure that the only reason he is still alive is the fact that he isn’t alone in this room with that man.

Who only wants one thing right now: for Johnny to disappear.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ripping his arm away from Ten and shaking off the small grip on his wrist as he storms off behind the crowd. He can feel every single pair of eyes follow him as he leaves the room and down a side hallway, gasping for air.

If everything hadn’t already gone completely wrong up until this point, this was definitely the cherry on top.

His legs can’t carry him fast enough down this hallway. He has no clue where he is going, and nowhere in this house is going to be far enough.

“Hey, wait!” A small voice squeaks from behind him. Grabbing his shoulder and quickly spinning him around “Johnny, stop! What’s going on?” The other heaves as he tries to catch his breath.

“I don’t know Ten, you tell me.” Johnny snaps sharply. His entire facial expression is taken over with something, or someone that Ten has never seen before.

Naturally he retreats at the loud voice, Ten whispers. “I..I don’t know, I’m sorry for whatever I did.”

“No, you’re not. I don’t even know who you are right now. How could you tell everyone? What part of your little brain thought that was a brilliant idea to embarrass me like that. You know that was something really fucking private between us.” Johnny yells, pain searing though his words and echo into the empty hallway.

“I’m sorry. I'm sorry I’m excited and that I'm not ashamed of us!” Ten yells in a fit as his eyes fill with tears.

“You know you’re father wants to kill me, yeah? You seriously think that was going to help the situation? ”

“Seriously, you’re still on this?!” His voice cracking as he chokes back a sob. His whole body begins to shake. Johnny can feel an agonizing pain in his chest begin to grow as he stares at the other. Whose eyes are begging for forgiveness.

“You have no fucking clue, do you?” His voice raises even higher. “I don’t belong in this... This is your life and I clearly don’t fit in here, I don’t understand any of it... This part of you didn't even exist in my life until two days ago and I don’t even know who you are anymore, Ten. ” Johnny starts to slowly scuffle backwards. Not once taking his stare off the other. Johnny’s eyes begin to gloss as they barricade even the smallest tear from slipping through. He keeps repeating in his head: Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

Creating distance between the two, it’s like a chasm grows and it’s killing them both. With each small step Ten takes towards Johnny, he’s forced to watch Johnny take two back.

Ten’s arms sink to his sides, surrendering himself to the fight. His feet like stone as they hold him, standing in the middle of two walls, he can’t go forward but he refuses to go back. The silence between the two is broken by his uneasy breathing. Cheeks soaked with burning streaks of uncontrollable tears and painful hiccups cut though rough inhales.

A small ice cold hand startles Ten as it grips tightly around his wrist. Pulling him back, his body presses into the person behind him. His mother wraps her arm around his side, palm pressed flat against his stomach, she firmly whispers against him. “Chittaphon, you need to stop this, now.”

She pulls on her son, forcing him to stumble backwards. Emotionally weak, Ten can’t find a single ounce of strength to fight back. Broken pleas begin to pour from him as he tries to steady his footing.

“Yeah Ten, go. Go back to the party. You don’t need me anyways.” Johnny’s voice incredibly low to disguise the utter pain wrenching though him. Turning on his heel he doesn’t look back once as he quickly strides down the hallway. Trying to block out the screams that chase after him.

“Johnny! No, please!” Ten’s voice wails as he poorly fights against his mothers grip. Her nails dig into him as he reaches out his arm, his voice disappearing completely as it is over taken by high pitched sobs “Let go of me!”

His screams ignored and are only met by increasing distance.

“Let him go.” She whispers against him as his entire body goes limp. Slipping through her arms he crashes harshly onto his knees before pooling onto the ground. He doesn’t care about his suit, he hopes it stresses and rips. Hanging his head, he hold his breath. Holding it until his chest burns and begs for air.

His mother stands behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders.

“It’s for the best, son.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave feedback in the comments below.  
> You can find me @squishysymbiote on twt
> 
> Have you ever felt out of place?


	4. Part four: Torment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who has held on with me. I want you all to know that I have not abandoned this little guy. I was (unwillingly) forced to step away for several reasons. The main one being that life happened, hitting me like a literal freight train and demanding things from me that were more than I could offer- thus consuming all my time. But, I digress. I want to thank everyone who helped keep my motivation up, really thank you so much. And you know who you are <3

  
“It’s about being happy with who you are.” Jaehyun says into the soft foam surrounding the microphone. Leaning forward and resting his elbows on the tabletop, Jaehyun speaks softly to the late night listeners.

Johnny can’t help but to drift off as Jaehyun’s voice takes lead in their discussion. His words, strung together into the most truly spoken sentence. Yet it’s much easier said than done. Like daydreaming, he stares off into a blank void, though his mind is the furthest from daydreams. But It gives him a slight diversion from his own reality- as if working non-stop isn’t distracting enough.

But nothing can take his attention away long enough to forget that gnawing pain inside of him.

Shifting around in his chair he’s noticeably uncomfortable as he crosses his right leg over his left, struggling to move with ease. Johnny clears his throat. “And I think that is something really important about this song, it branches out from the norm. It makes them unique and really gives them the ‘it’ factor.”

“I can say for sure, that this comeback season is going to be something to be excited about.”

“But who can we expect the next biggest thing from?” Johnny asks, looking to his right at Jaehyun.

“Oh, I don’t know, Johnny. I just know that I can’t wait to see for myself, there are so many good artists out there right now. It’s really a tight race between them.”

“There sure are. Oh, but how awful waiting is.” Johnny expresses, shaking his head. “I always just want to know right away, you know? The anticipation of what is to come drives me crazy! But we will have to put all it on pause for now because looks like we’re nearing the end of our show." Johnny pauses for a moment before continuing. “We will play you this last song as we head out. Running at number one for seven weeks now- please enjoy! Thank you guys!” Johnny speaks clearly, falsely trying to generate some sort of excitement in his tone.

Holding up his fore finger and middle together, Jaehyun signals their ending queue. “Everyone, sleep tight. Night Night.” The two say in perfect unison, just as they do every time before the small red light disappears.

Johnny pushes his headphones off his ears, slipping them down to hang around his neck. The soft pads rest against his collar bone as he lets out a exhausted sigh. Shuffling several papers in front of him, he picks the white pages up one by one. Quietly attempting to organize the space in front of him. Partially to waste a small fraction of time before he has to pack up and go home but more so to hold his tongue from having to say the obvious.

“The was a really good show tonight.” Jaehyun says. “But you’re a bit off.”

_There it is._

“I know I am, I’m really sorry.” Johnny replies, frowning.

Leaning back in his rolling chair he uses his heels to push off, rolling backwards until the wall behind him abruptly brings him to a halt. Jaehyun laces his fingers together and places his hands on top of his head, flattening down his gel styled over hair. His long legs locked straight as he slouches further into the chair. With a sympathetic look he speaks softly. “Look, I know it’s been two weeks, but you’re sure you don’t need any time off? I can handle it and I’m sure Jungwoo would love to guest host for a few days.”

This isn’t the first time Jaehyun has offered and Johnny is growing agitated. Actually, saying that he is frustrated with himself is an understatement. He can’t figure out _why_ he’s putting himself though any of this. But he’s even more irritated that Jaehyun can see right through his ten foot wall he has been trying to hide behind. And by a ten foot wall, it’s purely a metaphorical statement for his black and over-worn hooded sweatshirt he’s been seeking refuge inside of. Though you wouldn’t ever guess that his hair is a mess because he hasn’t taken his hat off in a week. Or that he has not had a wink of sleep in days if the bags under his eyes weren't so painfully dark, giving him away and to put it nicely, he looks like total _shit_. But he’s still genuinely surprised that Jaehyun suspects any sort of decline in his health.

It’s been two weeks since Johnny left Thailand and it has been twelve days since Ten has tried to contact Johnny at all. He’s so stubborn and his pride wouldn’t let him answer the call. Each time the phone vibrated in the palm of his hand, Johnny could feel his heart twist a little tighter in his chest.

But not as tight as every time he listens to the voice mails on his phone, that damn near kills him. The softness in Ten’s voice, Johnny officially crowns himself the biggest asshole on the face of the earth. So he keeps each voicemail as torture, to listen to them repeatedly just to wring his emotions a bit more.

He’s almost sure he’s never going to see Ten again and he only has himself to blame.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**_Brring Brring_**

A loud ringing of an incoming call on the landline shakes Johnny from his own head space, again. Causing the two boys to jump in their own seats as it breaks through the absolute silence in the small booth. It’s after midnight and they’re off air. Why would the phone be ringing now?

Jaehyun reaches for the receiver. Placing it to his ear he answers with a quizzical tone in his voice. It only took a few words for Johnny’s anxiety to spike as he can only assume who it is on the other end.

And he doesn’t know what he’s going to say.

“Um, yeah, hold on a second.” Jaehyun says before cupping his hand over the mouthpiece to muffle any sound while holding it out to Johnny. “It’s… Ten’s sister?”

Furrowing his eyebrows as his mouth turns downward into a pout he accepts the phone, hesitant to place it against his own head. “Hello?”

“Hey, Johnny. I’m glad I could reach you here. I do not have you private number and Ten doesn’t know I am calling.” Her voice remains angelic even as she sputters her words.

“Okay- What’s up?”

“Look, I just wanted to know that you were okay. Ten has been sulking for days and he won’t talk to me.”

Johnny’s stomach drops at the thought of Ten, alone and upset. “ He has?”

“Yes, Johnny. He’s acting awfully strange and I don’t know what has gotten into him. He’s been with our father for three days now and it’s like I don’t even know who he is.”

“What do you mean?” Johnny’s face scrunches tightly as he’s disappointed that he is unable to conjure more than a few words at a time. It’s like ten thousand questions come rushing into his mind all at once in a whirlwind. He trembles over his own thoughts as they will only allow him to select a few symbols that he can grasp onto.

“He has been… working. And it’s doing something to him and I don’t understand why. He has never had anything to do with the business before. It’s quite odd that he is involving himself now.” Her voice echoes with worry.

The slight panic in Johnny’s voice mirrors the young girl on the other end of the line. “Especially if he’s only there on vacation? Right? His flight is in a few days.”

“That’s why I called you, Johnny. I don’t think he is coming home.”

Johnny’s throat goes dry and its like he has been shrouded in a blanket of nullity. He’s unable to move or think or breathe, the line static is the only thing between them for a moment.

“Johnny? I needed you to know. I’m sorry, but I have to go now- I can hear my mother calling for me. Please take care of yourself. Be happy, you’re a blessing.” She whispers quickly before the line clicks.

Johnny sets the phone down gently onto the hook as if he were in slow motion and looks over at Jaehyun with wide glossy eyes. The silence in the air feels like it is relentlessly crushing down on Johnny. Heavy and its' entire weight rests on top of him.

He closes his eyes tight and drops his head, hiding his face from the boy sitting to his right. Pressing his lids tightly until his cheeks hurt from straining, he latches his teeth onto his cheek before biting down sharply.

He tries counting in head _One, two. One, two. _Like a incantation to ground himself but he’s struggling to keep his breath steady, he balls his hands into fists on top of the table in his last resort. His finger nails digging into his palm, but not hard enough to do more than leave a few red lines behind.__

Before, Johnny couldn’t help but think to himself that everything is his fault. And now, he’s positive it is. He’s the reason Ten isn’t coming home, he left him alone with his father. Who right now, is probably trying to ingrain his filthy business tactics onto him.

He loosens his grip only when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

The touch is gentle and sympathetic. There isn’t any need for him to say anything because the connection is enough. Jaehyun is the only person that has shown him the slightest bit of affection in weeks. Unspoken, he’s comforting. Very comforting.

Johnny takes a deep breath in through his nostrils and exhales audibly though his mouth. His lips parted, they tremble slightly as he is unable to lift his head. He’s unsure how long he has been sitting in silence using everything inside of him to settle his heart beat before he begins softly speak. “So, you think Jungwoo would like to host for a bit?”

“Yeah, of course he would. Everything okay?”

“I think I need to go home for a bit.”

-

The apartment is eerily quiet, it’s dark and anyone could be fooled into thinking the place has been abandoned. The same empty cup hasn’t moved in days and a pair of black socks have found a new home buried in the couch cushions. But there’s something about being alone in a house that makes each small creek amplify and the drafts feel colder.

Every day that Johnny spends alone in this house, the more he grows to loathe it. It used to be his happy home, his little sanctuary that he shared with Ten. But now, can he call it that?

_Why did this have to happen, Ten?_

Johnny saunters as he drags his suitcase through his small house. The wheels leaving small lines in the carpet its’ wake. Everything inside of the apartment reminds him of Ten and it’s nearing on the borderline of pitiful. Every small decorative detail that he once picked out, now stands out in spotlights to Johnny.

The narrow hallway leading away from their bedroom has one and only one painting on the wall and it jumps at Johnny as he passes it. Usually, he forgets to even glance at the simple canvas. _It seems that he takes for granted the things that are always there._ But today he pauses for a moment and admires even the smallest details of the French tower, its gorgeous. His mind boggles at the realization that he never really looked at it before. He still remembers buying it for Ten a few months ago. He always dreamed of going to see the Eiffel Tower with Johnny and insisted on having the oversized print hanging on their wall. Saying that it is “motivation to not give up” or something like that. Ten always claimed it was the ‘most romantic place on earth’ (he’s not wrong) and that kissing Johnny in front of it was high on his Bucket List.

Johnny’s fingers find his bottom lip, brushing against the soft skin, he almost thinks he can feel the other against them.

Everything. Each little detail inside these walls have its’ own story and Johnny can suddenly recall each moment so vividly.

His mind is literally trying to torture him.

The two odd little elephant figurines in the living room on the bookshelf that were thrifted from a tiny shop they found downtown. Johnny had to wash a brown sticky substance off of them in the sink when they got home, but Ten wanted them because they are a symbol for their loyalty and unity. Claiming that Johnny was the big one with the tusks and he was the little _cuter_ elephant.

Even the heinous drapes that covered their sliding door, they too had a story is to why they have taken up residency in their little apartment. Though, that story is accompanied by several fowl words. But nevertheless each one of these little things, Johnny loved. He loved them because they made Ten happy.

And that’s all he wants, for him to be happy.

Standing by the front door, he pushes himself to twist the door handle. Not once does he turn around to glance behind him. He doesn’t want to look because it’s going to hurt him more than he can even fathom. It’s like a movie scene and he can see it playing out in his mind. Turning around would only allow the vividly painful memories to play out before him once more.

Catching his lip between his teeth, he sinks into it before forcing himself to leave, to step even further away from everything. For now at least.

Because he knows that if he stays here any longer, he’s going to drown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may notice that I added another part onto this story, I felt it was necessary to break the last part up.  
> Please, comment below. Final part coming soon!


	5. Part five: Saudade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He just needs to go _home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is- once again, let me give a huge thanks to @ratedjonhten_ on Twitter for letting me run wild with this prompt. This has been a journey and I loved it every step of the way. I remember months ago, writing the outline on the plane to Neo City- The Origin: USA tour next to a man with prying eyes. >.> Man, the **FEELS**
> 
> Anyways, I want to give a shout out to those who have given me their support, it really keeps me going. And also to @ninibearr - Thank you for everything, I would have given up ages ago if it wasn't for you. ^.^

  
Tapping the edge of the empty plastic cup against the arm rest emits a soft noise, like the lub of a heartbeat. Blind to Johnny, but it’s an irritating sound that definitely will crawl under the skin of anyone in a five foot vicinity.  
  
It’s a long shot but he put all his hope into his three dollar purchase. Though it didn’t last him long. Quickly sucking the near pitch black contents though a tiny green straw, he prays for the caffeine in his system to keep him awake- just for a little bit longer. His eyes heavy, as if tiny sand granules had set in the corners of his eyes. He just needs to close them for a minute. Or two.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.

If it wasn’t for the excessively robotic voice announcing unnecessarily loud through the overhead speaker every five minutes, Johnny knows he would be curled up on the disgusting carpet beneath his feet.

Clearly, the woman is just as excited as him about being stuck at the airport during the graveyard shift.

For hours Johnny has been shifting himself around in his seat. His long legs don’t comfortably allow him to sit in the small chairs without cramping his knees and he’s lost all feeling in his left foot. He’s seen several planes board and dozens of people walk by, not a single person glancing his way.

He’s starting to wonder if he’s invisible, or maybe he’s made all this up. Because he’s in hell. _Airport hell_ and he wishes he could just wake up on his couch. Wake up to find that none of this ever actually happened.

But what’s even more torturous: his watch tells him it’s only been ten minutes since he sat down.  
  
  
  


He can hear her words ringing in his ear and he’s been replying the conversation of earlier over in his head repeatedly. Words spoken so kindly and he cant help but to smile when he thinks of her.

There’s a difference when someone is sympathetic and when someone is willing to help hold your structure together, framework and all. And for Johnny, it’s his mother. She’s like his own built in carpenter, always ready to help build him up again when the elements should force him to crumble.

_I know you love him, Sweetheart. And sometimes you have to listen to your heart and not what your brain is telling you._

Johnny’s heart pumps hard in his chest. It’s telling him to run.

_Sometimes space is the best thing, it allows you both to heal._

He doesn’t want space.

_But always remember, it will always be you two against the universe. Time and space is irrelevant to love._

Is it though?

_Please, have a safe flight John-ah. I love you._

Dragging his small case behind him, he saunters his way towards the jet way the monotone woman directs him towards. Each step he takes gets heavier with the feeling of regret. Perhaps boarding this place is a mistake and maybe, he’s making the worst decision of his life.

“This isn’t goodbye.” Johnny mutters to himself.

Clicking as the wheels turn, the case is as nervous as he is. Walking down the passenger boarding bridge isn’t the difficulty part. Its stepping across onto the aircraft that the sudden realization hits him.

There’s no going back.

  
\---

Johnny finds himself staring up at flawless black iron gates, perfectly crafted and firmly holding a barrier between Johnny and the house before him. Which was fine the gates began to swing open.

Mustering everything inside of him he drags the cinder blocks that have replaced his feet and his tiny case across the cobblestone. The white stairs leading to the front door is like climbing a mountain, huge and slick and there’s an impending fear of slipping.

There’s one thing that Johnny likes to think about himself, and it’s that he’s not easily scared. But everything was out the window when the double doors before him began to creak open. Perhaps it’s under stating it to say he’s scared, or terrified or even mildly panicking.

He can’t help but to think that maybe he should have gotten on that plane to Chicago, and maybe he shouldn’t have changed his flight on a whim.

This just might be the stupidest thing Johnny has ever done.

Or the best.

“Johnny, my dear.” The elderly woman says. Seeing her face was the most pleasant greeting Johnny could ever expect, immediately putting him at ease.

“Halmeoni, Hello.” Johnny says, bowing respectfully.

“I know why you’re here and I don’t think that’s a great idea.”

Johnny’s eyes widen, face contorting with confusion.

She continues, “You shouldn’t have come here. Ten is working right now and he’s not here.” Her voice lowers as she flashes a subtle wink. “So I am going to go back to my duties and if you happen to follow me, I can’t do anything about it.”

“I…I” Johnny’s light bulb is flickering with each stutter.

“I’m a frail old woman, I can’t stop you. If you just so happen to make your way though this door and come in and have some cookies. I didn’t allow it!”

A small chuckle escapes behind Johnny’s pressed smile. Gently closing the large door behind him, he follows the sweet woman though the house. He’s great at tagging along in this unnecessarily huge mansion. Taking a seat in the kitchen on a bar stool across the counter from where she stands, he makes himself comfortable on the plush seat.

The kitchen air fills with a scent, rich chocolate with a hint of cinnamon. It’s warm and something about it is unbelievably comforting.

“Can I ask you a question?” Johnny asks as he peers up from picking at the skin around his thumb cuticle.

“Yes, Sweetie, of course.”

“Do you think Ten is going to be upset when he sees me?”

“I’ve been in this family for a long time. I’ve raised Little Chitta since he was in diapers. And if anyone is going to be upset, I can tell you that it’s not going to be him.” She pauses. “Since you left, I’ve never seen that boy so heart broken in his life.”

Johnny chokes on his words as they wretch inside of him. “It’s not Ten I should be worried about it, is it?”

The woman smiles softly and sympathetically, her features are gentle even as the wrinkles crease around her eyes and pull the corners of her mouth. Without another word she pulls her cheeks upward as she sets a plate of warm baked treats in front of him.

He crams one after another into his mouth… Pushing out the thoughts of a bulbous red faced middle aged man.

Johnny always remembers the way Ten used to talk about her baking. He would brag that they’re the best he has ever had. And even though Johnny tried to make his cheap off brand tube dough with the most love, it still wasn’t as good as her baking. _But can he really argue?_

Serotonin pours from him like a faucet the longer he sits with Ten’s childhood nanny. Settling back into the backrest of the bar stool, he lets his body rest easily. She softly recalls stories of her past and stories of young Ten. Johnny chuckles though full bites as he contently and intently focuses on her.

Johnny almost forgot what he was so nervous about, almost.  
  
  
  
  
  


Glass shattering, breaking and scattering dozens of tiny shards across the floor is what’s left of Johnny the second he hears a sound from the other room. The sound of dress shoes clacking against the shined flooring echoes though the hallway.

He doesn’t notice him at first, his eyes are focused on a handsome taller business man to his right. He smiles brightly, perfectly white teeth displayed across his face and his slender arms are tightly wrapped around a large black folding binder.

Johnny doesn’t realize he’s staring at Ten, or how long he’s been staring. Mapping out the details of the other- he hasn’t changed at all and he’s still just as gorgeous as the night Johnny left, weeks ago. In fact, he’s more than that. But no, he doesn’t realize until their gazes meet and like deer in headlights, they’re both frozen.

A gorgeous smile crumbles as he glowers at the other. Instantly coming to a halt as if he hit an unseen wall. His eyes wide with surprise and glossed with upset and his brow gently raised, but he doesn’t show any signs of saying anything as his mouth remains pressed tight.

Johnny takes a deep breath before breaking the painfully awkward silence.

“Ten, I didn’t know when you’d be back.” Johnny says, stumbling over each word with less grace an a baby gazelle using their legs for the first time. “ I know this is a surprise and it is for me too but I-”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Ten reacts quickly, cutting in with stomping on his heel.

_Why exactly is he here?_

Johnny’s bottom lip, plump in pout quivers in anticipation of words, but no sounds come out.

_You see, Johnny wanted something like you see in the movies. He wanted Ten to see him and come running into his arms and live be happily ever after._

_But life doesn’t actually work that way._

“I wanted to see you again.” Johnny admits as he pries his eyes away. Suddenly the skin on his thumb becomes immensely fascinating.

“Well, that’s funny to say. Since you’re the one that disappeared.” Ten scoffs. “I didn’t think I ever would see you again, nor do I even _want_ to. I’m sorry to disappoint you, after you traveled all this way, but I’m a little busy..”

Unable to look at Ten, he speaks to the countertop: “Please just give me one minute, I can explain. And after, if you want me to- I’ll leave on the next flight out.”

Ten rolls his eyes with a sharp breath as he shifts his weight in his stance.

“Chitta, don’t be so ornery.” Ten’s nanny interjects.

“I’m not sure if I even care to hear what you have to say.” Ten says, gripping onto his binder like it’s the only thing keeping his guard up.

Who is this boy and what has he done with Ten? Johnny trembles. “Please?” His plea- one drawn out sylabol, cracks im his voice as Johnny tries to hold his walls up.

“Johnny…” Ten’s tone softens as he uncrosses his arms. The mask comes off and Johnny breaks through, he is able to finally see _his_ boyfriend- not some stranger.

Ten starts forward before a hand on his shoulder abruptly pulls him back, the boy lets out a small squeak in surprise.

“I don’t think he wants to hear your excuses.” Barks the stout gruff man.

Johnny quickly reinforces himself before standing up from his seat. His knees aching to buckle from beneath him. Straightening up and crossing his arms across his chest, trying to look tougher than he is before scraping together the courage to snap back at the man behind Ten. “Let him speak for himself.”

“I will allow him, when it’s something that concerns him.” Ten’s father says, heightening his stance. “And if I recall, we have discussed this once before- I thought I made myself perfectly clear.”

“There’s nothing you can do to scare me. You’re not going to corner me again.”

The man grunts with amusement: “Corner? You must be mistaken, we simply had a chat and you seemed more than willing on your end, no?”

Johnny grits his teeth.

He can’t breathe.

“What?” Ten says, eyes wide in surprise. He stares at his father, hurt and anger visibly swelling inside of him. “What did you do?”

Johnny is quick to answer for him: “He’s the reason I left… Isn’t that right? Go ahead, tell him.” Throwing an arm in his direction, putting a spotlight directly on him.

“What is going on?” Ten whips his head between the two men.

“Chittaphon. Don’t listen to this Pretty Boy. He’s the lowest thing you’ve ever come in contact with and I am not going to let you throw everything away.”

“ I don’t think that’s a decision you can make. I already let you take him away from me once. You’re going to have to kill me before I let that happen again.”

He raises an eyebrow in repugnance. Though, he seems rather humored with Johnny. Crossing his arms over his chest as he lets out a small hum from the back of his throat. The small sound reverberates though the room and Johnny immediately regrets everything that just left his mouth.

Refusing to look away or break eye contact first. Fire begins to burn through him the longer he stares at the vicious man though a veil of red.

It’s a stand off between the two and neither of them will show any form of submission willingly. Even if Johnny is trembling in his own shoes- he refuses to break. No, not to a man like Ten’s father. (Even if the man is probably planning on where to hide his body in this exact moment.) That man is terrifying and only someone clinically insane would want to find themselves on his bad side.

And here is Johnny, unblinking, back straight, nostrils flaring with each breath and his jaw clenched tight enough to send zapping pain though the joint.

“Enough! Stop this!” Ten yips as he stomps his feet like a child in a tantrum. The clacking loud on the marble as he scurries to Johnny’s side. Grabbing tightly onto his wrist and jerking him in the opposite direction. “Come here.”

Johnny glares at the man as he is dragged away- petty.

The giant over grown puppy patters behind Ten, happy as can be but also slightly nervous of what is to come next. Because he is either going to be praised or scolded.

_Please don’t let it be the latter._

Johnny’s ears tune out the loud discussions behind him as he tries to focus on Ten’s small huffs that expel from his parted lips with each breath and the inaudible muttered words that swirl around his tongue.

Behind his closed bedroom door, Johnny’s head hits the door with a thud as two small hands overpower him. Pinning against him with a knee between his legs, threatening him to remain still, Johnny’s muscles sink into the wood behind him. For the first time in weeks, he feels something real. Someone close to him and even if Ten loathes him, the absolute closeness is enough to cause Johnny to struggle to breathe. A gentle cough escapes his lungs, followed by a desperate need for air; his whole body drains as two plush lips press against his own.

The need, the insatiable craving only grew the longer they were separated. Johnny’s mind swirls in a mix of emotions, twisted and confused, he kisses Ten back. Kissing deeply as if it will be enough of an apology. _He’s so, so sorry. And he doesn't know any other way to show him._ Small lusting whines roll off his tongue into the other, leaving him begging in desperation each time Ten rolls his hips against him. _He was sure he was never going to taste him again, never going to touch his honey skin, and never going to feel his heat pounding in his chest._

He’s in a rush, hands unable to hold still run along his torso, balling his shirt in his fists, Johnny tries to hang onto anything that can attach him to reality. _He’s too perfect to be real._ Pulling his dress shirt free from its’ neatly tucked waistband, he finds his way under the white cotton. Ten twinges and reacts to the feeling on his skin, like ice touching his body.

Ten retracts sharply, pulling away and leaving Johnny panting in between soft mewls. Johnny’s lips prickle numb as he catches them sharply between his teeth. Sinking into the soft skin as he whimpers in protest with large puppy like eyes. Pushing away, Ten creates space between the two, too much for his liking, as things are beginning to feel one-sided and it’s tugging at Johnny desire for the smaller.

Like the crack of a whip, a loud snap sound echoes through the room as Ten’s palm collides with Johnny. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

A piercing sting spreads across his right cheek as heat rushes to the area, turning it a soft pink.

“I’m sorry, Ten.” Johnny whispers.

“ You can’t just show up here and worse, try to stand up against my father. ”

Johnny hangs his head.

“You ghosted me. You literally left the country, you didn’t just go out for air like a normal person. No, you left!”

“I know, I’m sorry”

“You fucking left. Who does that?!” Ten protests, ignoring Johnny’s apologies.

“But your father, he forced me to…”

“Oh, did he really? Did he threaten you?”

“Yes, Ten!” Johnny says, “I literally didn’t have any other choice.”

“And did he force you to ignore me for weeks?”

“No.”

“You’re just at as much fault as he is right now.” Ten takes a few steps backwards. Spinning around, facing away from him and running his fingers through his hair “I’m so pissed at the two of you.”

Johnny stumbles in a step, reaching out a hand. “I told you I was sorry.”

“No, don’t say that.” Ten says firmly, palm raising in the air. “It’s not some magic word to fix this.”

“What can I do then? How can I make this better?”

“I don’t know, Johnny. You destroyed me, you can’t expect me to act like nothing happened.”

His arms heavy at his sides, Johnny shuffles until he reaches the foot of Ten’s bed. Heavily plopping himself into the plush comforter. Hunching over, resting his elbows on knee he keeps his head low, hiding the prickling tears that begin to swell. Staring at the cloud like fibers in the carpet, he fixes onto them, unsure what to do next before softly muttering into the air: “I never wanted you to pretend like this didn’t happen, I know I messed up. But you don’t have any clue is to what I was feeling. What I was going through- how embarrassed or how scared I was.”

Johnny sniffles, laying out the sound of a broken heart.

He glides with almost no sound and even without looking up, Johnny can see him. See the subtle way his hips sway as he moves through his steps. Slowly, he counts the number of steps in his head. Rather than painting a picture of the other in his mind, Johnny remains blank. He can’t see Ten without a smile widely splayed across his face, which is why he’s so afraid to look up.

He can’t stand seeing Ten hurting, and even worse: having caused him that pain.

Two feet stop before him. He stares at black shoes for as long as he can before trailing upward, slowly. Painfully slow. Making his way his belt, upward to the three open buttons at the top of his shirt, revealing his soft skin underneath. The small pout of his bottom lip trembles and Johnny can’t help but mirror him.

The world stopped turning, the brash wind stalled outside the window and there was nothing but the sound of uneasy breaths between the two. It feels like hours the two remain silent together, neither pushing the other. Ten blinks softly, allowing a single tear to escape. Rolling down his cheek, leaving a shimmering streak behind.

“You don’t know what it’s like trying to live without you.” Breaking the static, Ten whispers.

“And you shouldn’t ever have to, again.”

“Don’t ever do that to me again. Because I don’t want any of this,” Ten gestures around him, “if it means not having you to share it with.”

"We don't need any of this."

"All I need is you."

Soft-heartedly Johnny speaks lowly. “The universe may try to tear us apart, but it doesn’t matter where it takes us. We will always find each other.”

“Anywhere in the universe?”

“I’d get in a spaceship if it meant finding you, you alien.” He says, jokingly.

“You’re such a weirdo.”

“And you love it.”

Ten shakes his head as he cups Johnny’s cheeks in his hands. “This is going to take some time to heal.” He whispers, leaning down to plant a soft peck on his lips. “But I don’t want to do this without you.”

“I can’t do this without you” He whispers as his lips brush against the other, begging to be kissed.

He’s gentle and reassuring as he slides onto Johnny’s lap. His knee’s on either side of his thighs, chin resting in shoulder and fingers laced with long brown locks. Sighing gently the added weight in his lap pumps his heart a bit harder. Swelling, it beats in a way that feels like it might burst. Tightly he wraps his arms around Ten’s waist, pulling him in close enough that no air can wriggle between them. The warmth that radiates between the two is soft, comforting, and exactly where they belong.

The two bask in silence before Johnny starts: “I don’t care where we are… sometimes home isn’t four walls,”

“No, please don’t make me say it. ”

“Come’on, please?” Johnny whines cutely. “You used to say it to me all the time.”

“...Sometimes it’s two eyes and a heartbeat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so corny and it makes my heart happy, so that's what matters.  
> ^.^
> 
> I have a new Johnten ( E ) story in the making- I'm really, really excited about it.  
> For updates you can find me on:
> 
> Twitter: squishysymbiote  
> Tumblr: dsctea


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